dont mind me

r.i.p pink pencil ):

2009-10-06T07:10:00.000-07:00

recently ive lost a fellow loved one. hmmmph. what !? who ?! when ???

my pink pencil. she's been with me through exams and never failed to keep writing, even after it's grueling hours ): i have countless memories with this utensil. the images are still vivid in my mind. HAHAHA. through the late nights of studying, through the solving add math problems and pressing the calculator numerous times and still not getting the fucking answer, and most of all, to duplicating homework ;D haha wherever you are hopefully you will come back to me LOL (;
and to YOU i was really dissapointed to find out that an anonymous would steal my pink pilot ):
idk if it is taken from someone but im ready to make a fight (;
YES over a pencil
haha nooo im just kidding
but i miss my pink baby

i just had a flashback my friend used to say
'youre an itch that wont go away'
and im laughing :D and nope i wont tell you why !

i someday would like to be a rightful owner to a yellow buggg <3

until we meet again

2009-09-10T07:42:00.000-07:00

atuk, i honestly don't know where to begin. i miss you already. dad's so discreet about everything, and next thing i know you're gone. atuk i just want you to know, you might be gone physically, but your spirit lives on <3.

the last time i saw you, you were so frail i was scared looking at you. you seemed so lifeless and tired. at least the battle is over, and im very sure youre in a much better place now. god is omniscient and impartial, god knows you were a good man. you ARE a good man. you belong somewhere up in the heavens with all the blessed ones. this is fate , and im willing to accept it but at least im not the States anymore and had a chance to see you.

atuk we all love you. you really have sacrificed so much and youve put up with ongoing obstacles ever since you were little. dad looks up to you. mostly everything he does, he does it for you and nenek. by the way always know, that i love you. WE LOVE YOU. and nothing is comparable to this love.

atuk i wish you could witness me graduating, getting married, your grand,grand kids. it still hasnt completely hit me yet that youre gone for what seems like forever. ive recited prayers for you every night, but i guess god loves you a lot more than i do.

atuk ill keep praying for you, always.
al-fatihah

may you rest in peace

one last thing, i love you, and i miss you so terribly already
until we meet again

love, nina

ive only had one year and half to spend with you. that's unfair ! )': i treasure each and every moment. god im so cluttered right now.

hmph

2009-09-08T06:04:00.000-07:00

mood: indescribable

"be strong now cause it will get better..it may be stormy now but it cant rain forever"

i think this is my one and only favorite quote. it fits in perfectly with what im going through right now but it still has a hint of optimism in it. of course i came across it on sandy's profile. imy big sis how are you doing with the real world now ?

life is not always smooth sailing. but will there ever be an end to storm ? my life's a dark abyss spiraling downwards HAHAHA im kidding. just a lil laugh right ? (; but on the serious note, why god are so many things happening to me at once ? or maybe it all has been happening but not enough for me to notice because i was too young to understand, or maybe it's just that i was so caught up in my teenage world to realize it ?

dad just got a phone a call. atuk you cant tell who people are now ? dont do that ): that broke daddy's heart. he's been so moody lately. yesterday, he yelled at me. he never yells at me. atuk promise me you'll get better okay ? atuk, i dont care how much money we spend but please, we want you back. dad stay strong okay. i know im not the best daughter but im trying. really i promise ! im so proud of you daddy (: really, you should see how i mention you in front of my friends. youre the best. i look up so much to you, and sometimes im just so amazed at how you do things.

god, please make atuk better. stop making him suffer please.. daddy hang on there okay ? patience is virtue
daddy i love you

emotions pouring out at once

2009-08-31T02:33:00.001-07:00

i miss amanina
where has she gone the almost past 2 years ?
i do not know

your real laughter
that smile
your somewhat intelligence.. lol
your quirkiness

i want her back
i want myself back

***

im really anxious for raya ! :D

***

baby, stop replicating

***

fuck you

***

nope not a record

2009-08-29T07:24:00.001-07:00

i haven't broken my record. what do you mean ? i've talked on the phone for only [lmao] a total of 5 hours today haha i havent done that in a long ass time. AND really, i havent felt so relieved and sincerely happy for quiet a while which sucks like usual. pretty much everything sucks here. durrr
and of course, i blew off everything i planned on doing. haha figures.

p.s: i really can't believe it but why the fuck would .... ?
p.s.s: thanks :D

an eye opener ?

2009-08-23T20:21:00.000-07:00

no school today :D as usual i woke up rolled out from bed but of course in a later time than usual :P hehe. so i got online and someone IMed me.
i was like who the hell .. ? omg ! hey ! haha. so we were chatting it up for about an hour. i was never that close to her EVER. so i thought it'd be one of those "hey whats up" convos. we talked about a lot. and somehow it got to this topic.

"yeah lol im kinda upset we realy didnt talk at cleve hill ur actual really good lol
i mean a good person and cool"
"ohh sorry. idt i was ever mean to you though .."
so then i felt bad.
"... u werent mean to me u just didnt realy talk to me cuz of the freinds u had i guess or..."
it continued.

and then we talked about the past i was pretty much lmao about the stuff we were talking about
memories (:

and it somehow got to this

she said:
"..... cuz you dont have to be popular to feel loved ya know"

" that was mean ):"

it's not popularity that i miss [ i never ever once thought i was popular] but
its love that i miss. the feeling that a friend will always , always be there
for you. so cliche, but true.

lately people don't take the time to really get to know me
maybe it's just the way i feel ?
but getting to my point here ...
i don't like when people jump to their own conclusions about me.
you dont know ME. it's only been a year over.
before you conclude something, think it thoroughly.
its a sign of maturity.

p.s: i kinda miss cheer
p.s.s: i have a shitload of work to do

2009-08-08T06:28:00.001-07:00

nothing interesting really happened today
but i got my baju raya done :D woo hoo !
its a pink kebaya hehehe
you'll see it in about a month plus
im in the worst mood today damn it im pissed whatever bye

yay !

2009-08-06T06:58:00.001-07:00

what ? you have a blogspot ? since when ?
haha :P its about time right
is it a trend here ? * wondering
is there better than xanga ?
okay nina rambling haha
umm, its still under construction i know it looks pretty shitty right now
give me some time okay babe (: